from the editor
— Lisa Player
February isn’t just the month for love, it’s also the month for RED, a color that packs a big punch. It can certainly symbolize love, but it can also denote anger, embarrassment, financial distress, danger, courage, power or royalty.
In this issue, Bella writers delve into many facets of red, and I know you’re going to love reading cover to cover. One of the topics we touch on here is anger, and I heard something recently that really hit close to home.
I was scrolling (a habit I’m trying to curb, by the way), and came across a Mel Robbins video featuring Dr. Gabor Maté. Robbins is a popular motivational speaker and writer, and she’s recently released a book titled “The Let Them Theory,” which is based on the idea that we can’t control everyone else; only ourselves. Maté is a renowned expert on addiction, stress, trauma and child development.
In their conversation, Maté was explaining the link between autoimmune diseases (which disproportionately appear 80% of the time in women vs. 20% in men), and traits considered traditionally to be female, including the tendency to be “nice” and to repress healthy anger.
Well, well, well. Hello, self. Nice to meet you.
I saw a lot of my own personality in this discussion, especially the anger repression thing. I know I do that. And, as is my way, I then had to look up Maté and find out what exactly are healthy ways to express anger.
I found another talk of his where he explained it well. Speaking up in a moment when we are angry is a healthy way to deal with it. We have to be champions of our own interests and own the right to set boundaries and call out injustices when they happen. Internalizing that anger and allowing rage over past issues to build and spill out later is unhealthy.
So, “seeing red” might just be the warning sign we need to express our anger in a healthy way, so it doesn’t boil over later, either by exploding outward or by attacking our own bodies. I’m going to work on this myself, and I hope you find some useful inspiration here as well, friends.
— Lisa Player
