Happy festive days, Bellas! I hope this issue finds you wrapped in holiday cheer.
We here at Bella have been thinking about holiday entertaining, and that inspired me to dive into my grandmother’s 1948 copy of “Vogue’s Book of Etiquette” to see what’s changed. This book always gives me a chuckle, and sometimes it even reminds me to be grateful I live now instead of then.
I was a little put off when I read, “In semiformal entertaining, there is a maid or butler in the front hall to open the door and take the guests’ coats.” Well, I don’t have a “front hall,” and I certainly don’t have a maid or butler welcoming my guests. In fact, perhaps the biggest thing that has changed about entertaining at home is that, at least in my experience, most of us are going to hang out in the kitchen, talk, taste the food and help the host with all the tasks as part of the fun.
I cracked up at this bit: “Since the man follows his wife into the room, it is probably unnecessary to add that the woman guest speaks first…”
Oh, boy. Where to even begin with that little outdated bit of fluff? Who had the time to think of these rules, much less practice them?
Place cards? Nah, let the guests fend for themselves!
Trays of cocktails being passed around? What if everyone just makes their own?
Don’t even get me started about the direction in which a soup spoon is supposed to travel through the soup.
In fact, when this musty old book says, “Sauces should not be sopped up with bread,” all I can think is how sad it is those poor souls never had a taste of my grilled New Orleans shrimp with a baguette on the side.
And when it proclaims about hostess gifts that “Husbands need not bring presents; that is the wife’s job,” I want to throw the book at someone.
Listen, if you ever come to my house, don’t bring a gift, sit where you want, eat with your fingers, and make yourself at home. If you put your feet up on the coffee table after dinner, I’ll consider that a compliment.
Happy holidays, y’all. Here’s hoping you don’t find yourselves at a 1948 dinner party breaking all the rules!
