Advice from local breast cancer warriors
— Compiled by Magi Thomley Williams
This month we asked Bella readers who are also survivors of breast cancer: What was the best and worst advice you heard during your battle against breast cancer? Read their responses and learn how you can support sisters in the fight. If you are a breast cancer warrior, we would be honored if you would share with us on Facebook/pensacolabella or Instagram/pensacolabella.
Best advice: Give myself grace. Some days meant staying in bed. Cry. Scream. But don’t stay there. The next day, get up, thank God and welcome the new day to rejoice and be glad in it!
— Sandra Donaldson, executive director/CEO, Donaldson Edge Advocacy, Inc.
Best advice: Cancer teaches you who your true friends are, and it’s easy to become angry and hurt when the ones you thought would be there for you suddenly become scarce during treatment. Don’t waste your energy focusing on the ones who aren’t there to support you. Build your relationships with the ones who ARE. Remember that on the really hard days when chemo is making you incredibly ill and exhausted, these are signs that chemotherapy is doing its job obliterating cancer.
Worst advice: “It’s just hair. It will grow back.” I know that they were only trying to reassure me and make me feel less self-conscious about being bald. It’s exactly the same thing that I would have said to someone before my cancer diagnosis. This repeated comment made me angry because it felt as though others were minimizing the loss of what I considered a large part of my identity. Plus, it takes years for hair to regrow to the length I was used to! Vanity aside, it wasn’t “just hair” to me, it was my health and vitality being stripped from me. A better response is something like, “I hate you’re losing all of your hair. I know this is hard for you and I’ll love you with or without it.” When people don’t know what to say to someone with cancer, a good approach is to just let the person know they are in a safe and welcoming place to talk about what they are experiencing.
— Emily Hardin, owner, The Boobie Boutique LLC
Best advice: Keep your life as normal as possible. There will be rough days, but when you feel OK, go to work, go for a walk, enjoy your favorite sport. Get together with family or friends; do what you love and what makes you happy.
— Michelle Covell, ICU nurse, Gulf Breeze Hospital
Best advice: A friend told me about her experience with chemo but followed up with, “everyone reacts differently.” I didn’t realize that, and I was terrified that ALL the awful things I’d heard would happen to me. She told me to listen to my body and let my doctor know every detail, because they really can manage your symptoms better than you think. She was right! Taking this advice made my treatment more tolerable, and a lot less scary.
Worst advice: The first time I was diagnosed with breast cancer was in 2000, before the Affordable Care Act. I was told by a PA that I could take a test to determine if I had a genetic gene mutation called BRACA that tremendously increased my risk for ovarian cancer and possibly recurrence of breast cancer. She then asked if I had good insurance — I didn’t. Next, she told me that I probably shouldn’t get the test, because if I did test positive, I would be uninsurable through private insurance due to the pre-existing condition. This was true! I didn’t take the test and ended up with ovarian cancer in 2016 and breast cancer again in 2022. If I had taken the test, I would have had preventive surgeries, and avoided those two battles with cancer completely. I’m glad we have come a long way with insurance reform.
— Laura Baker, retired, three-time cancer survivor
