The holiday meal is planned, presents are wrapped and your house smells like a cinnamon stick.

Don’t just sit there, staring at the decorated tree; brush up on your holiday etiquette well before your guests arrive.

Bella sought the advice of three decorum divas, who guide us through three tricky tasks: making small talk and making your overweight and short guests feel comfortable.

GET COOKING WITH GREAT CONVERSATION, said Debra Fine, the author of “The Fine Art of Small Talk” (Hyperion $16.95) and nationally renowned motivational speaker and trainer based in Colorado.
She warns against potential conversation killers, such as:
 “How’s that girlfriend of yours, Phil?” (She dumped him.)
 When are you two going to make me an uncle?” (The couple has fertility issues or doesn’t want children.)
 “Did you get that promotion you mentioned last year?” (No.)
Fine recommends these lines and open-ended questions instead:
“Bring me up to date with your business, Cousin Earl …”
“Tell me about your favorite holiday tradition, Grandma …”
“Describe your typical day at school, Joey …”
“What have you been up to outside of work this year, Maryanne?”

ACCOMMODATE OVERWEIGHT GUESTS, said Mary Mitchell, a Seattle-based corporate trainer and author of seven etiquette books, including “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Etiquette,” Third Edition (Alpha Books $18.95).
She recommends the
following:
 Provide chairs without arms. It’s easier to get in and out of them. Other comfortable places to sit: benches, window seats and stairs..
 Be mindful of activities that include a lot of standing or walking; both can be difficult and painful for the obese.
 Offer help when you see an obese person challenged by something that’s difficult to do, such as picking up a dropped item, but don’t make a big deal of it.
 Anticipate helping out: Walk through doors first and stop for rests when you are walking with an obese person. Assistance doesn’t have to be obvious.
 Don’t go overboard with accommodations; this only draws attention to the individual and separates them from the group.

AVOID HEIGHTISM DURING THE HOLIDAYS, said Massachusetts-based Ellen Frankel, a national speaker on eating, weight and body-image issues.
Friends or relatives — especially the ones who get together only on special occasions — tend to measure a child’s worth by “how big they’ve grown.”
“Being short isn’t a problem,” said Frankel, whose book about heightism is entitled “Beyond Measure.” “Instead, the real difficulties lie in the social bias against short people, and holiday gatherings can be a breeding ground for such prejudice unless you short-circuit the problem.”
Her suggestion: Find something more meaningful — such as academic achievements — to emphasize.